Q&A With Adee, Episode 20: Finding Balance in Your Relationship

We’re in week three of “all things relationships” and this week, Adee and her husband, Michael Cazayoux, return to discuss striking a balance in relationships.

Integrity Versus Temptation

Most of the time, you and your partner are 100 percent supportive of each other, right? But what about those other moments? Let’s say one of you is being diligent about your nutrition plan, tracking your macros and staying on top of your goals. Then for dinner, your partner decides to crush some pizza. And suddenly, you really want pizza too. But you also know how important it is for you to be consistent with your plan, so you stand up for yourself and don’t give in to temptation. Essentially, you’ve done two good things here. First, you’ve strengthened your integrity muscle. Second, you’ve encouraged your partner to think about making better choices!

Accountability Versus Judgment

It’s important to develop a solid foundation of co-accountability with your partner, but there’s a great divide between holding your partner accountable and coming across as judgmental. It isn’t your job to tell your partner what choices to make or to persuade them to change their lives. In fact, if you try to do this, you risk your partner becoming defensive. No one likes unsolicited advice. So don’t say, “Do it this way!” Instead, attempt to guide and encourage them by asking questions that provoke them to reflect on their goals and their decisions.

“Me” Time Versus “We” Time

Striking the proper balance between “we” time and “me” time is challenging, because you’re two different people with two different previous experiences. For example, one of you may come into the relationship with more of a “me” background, used to a lot of time doing things alone or for themselves, while the other is more comfortable with “we” time and requires that network of support from people close to them. Well, work as a team to figure out that balance, because you’ll both learn a lot about each other and yourselves, essentially expanding the quality of both your lives!

Check out Q&A episode 20 for some more detailed tips and strategies about balance and relationships.