Gain strength, get lean, increase endurance and flexibility.
I started with a very confused, generic goal. I thought I wanted to lose weight, and somehow it is also true, but truth is I was screaming for help. I was lucky enough to be able to recognize that I was suffering from eating disorders, because I study nutrition, but I've been trying to heal myself alone for years with no results and my downward spiral seemed irreversible. I needed help and I didn't know how to ask for it. I was unhappy, trapped in loops and patterns in my life that not only made me feel sad, but also weakened me. I started Crossfit because I wanted to be strong but I was actually destroying myself even worse, because the real-real reason deep inside -now I see it- was that sport was my purge. And I asked myself "why am I not getting stronger? Why are my progresses so slow?".
My Coach Ashley has been my midwife. She freed me. With her gentle, constant, patient presence (I have been such a mess sometimes, the excuses I told her and myself..!), with her words, she made me THINK about my problems, face them, and I learned so much!
It has been much more than "just" food. I mean, food is super important. I love it. I love eating. I love everything about food. But it was actually covering other issues and the amazing thing is that, thanks to her and to the program and to this amazing community, I have been able to cure myself, to establish a healthy relationship with food (finally! It's never too late!), to enjoy Crossfit just because I love it and not because I put some kind of hidden, expiatory meaning in it, and also to improve myself as human being! It sounds amazing, it sounds a bit naive maybe but I swear, it's true. I am a better person. I came clean. I can talk about my problems now, I am enjoying telling the truth to people around me, 'cause in my pre-WAG life I used to think that hiding it, or sugar-coating it, was the best way to be in control, to be independent and not to hurt anyone. Well the truth is, it's actually quite the opposite. When I started to tell the truth about the program to my family and friends, because otherwise I didn't know how else I could explain macros and food choices and so on, I realized that life is so much easier when you do it! And I gained freedom, flexibility, understanding and love. Pretty amazing right?
And last-but-not-least, I was one of these all-or-nothing person. Binging, craving, euphoric, depressed, solitary, looking for love.. totally messed up. I saw progresses coming and going... I saw that perfection doesn't exist, but we can always be a bit better. I saw the power of consistency, I even learned to accept frustration, to love myself even when I am sad, to cherish every moment, also the dull ones, without thinking that I have to fill them with something. It's ok. I can relax. I can breathe now, I don't know how else I could explain this feeling of freedom and happiness.
So yes, what could I say about this program? I learned so much in so many different areas, and it was really difficult and painful sometimes, I will not lie about it. Nothing comes from nothing. It's hard to realize that you are your own worst enemy. But with a "little" help (a big one actually!) I learned how to forgive myself, to be my best friend, to improve myself. Now, just now, I am able to enjoy my progresses with my body, my strength, my flexibility and endurance.